Catherine's home birth story during the pandemic

‘I’m usually a morning person and can’t wait to have breakfast, but on this day I felt a bit odd. The cramps wouldn’t go away, so I decided to just have a bit of water and hold on with breakfast until later that morning.’

What My Birth Trauma Has Taught Me

‘So in honour of Birth Trauma Awareness Week, I thought I would share what I have learnt from having a traumatic first birth with my son (trigger warning for this post - please read with care). I wasn't a doula six years ago and I truly thought having a relaxed, go with the flow attitude was a good thing to do. It wasn't.’

Dear me...I forgive you

‘I forgive you for not knowing all the things you didn’t know in those early weeks, months and years as a mother. ‘

birth, motherhoodJenna RutherfordMarch 31, 2019motherhood, mothers day, first time mum, forgiveness, mum guiltComment

Dear Midwives...we need to talk

‘I know the system is letting you down. Midwife means ‘with woman’ and I see how this has been taken away from you, how you have been stripped of the very reason you would have got into midwifery in the first place, to be with women.’

birth, doula, positive birth movementJenna RutherfordMarch 11, 2019doula, midwife, letter to, birth team, birth supportComment

150 things I've done as a doula

‘I’m celebrating five years as a doula this month so I took a trip down memory lane…what a journey!

Here’s a 150 things I’ve done since becoming a doula…’

doula, birth, motherhoodJenna RutherfordJanuary 17, 2019birth doula, postnatal doula, doulalife, doula Comment

Are you too busy to birth? Here’s ten tips to help you slow down…

‘Birth is a physiological AND emotional process. Simply put when your oxytocin levels (the love hormone - think how you feel when you’re really happy - that’s oxytocin) are high enough that your contractions can start... your baby will begin making their journey earth side. So how do oxytocin levels get high? You need to feel joy and lots of it.’

My two minute conversation with Ina May Gaskin

‘...we can plan and plan and plan but we just can't know... and not knowing needs to be part of the plan too. Finding a way to be ok with that is important. Antenatal prep should be more about finding your voice to speak up when your intuition is giving off warning signals, helping you let go so you can ride the waves of motherhood and grounding yourself into a calm space so you can handle the overwhelm.’

doula, birth, birth without fearJenna RutherfordNovember 22, 2018ina may gaskin, guide to childbirth, spiritual midwifery, positive birth, doula, doula uk, birthComment

The Good Enough Birth

‘Accepting that, while there might be magical moments, birth may also be surprising and, at times, even mundane, we can begin to have a more realistic view of what is ahead of us. In fact, it’s pretty good practice for parenthood! Having some plans in mind but accepting that there will be much we can’t control sets us up brilliantly for our mothering journeys too.’

birth, motherhoodJenna RutherfordNovember 12, 2018the good enough birth, birth better, hypnobirthing, positive birth, informed choiceComment

My Positive Birth FOMO

‘So slowly over time I have practiced this feeling of FOMO, this shift to not being where I thought I wanted to be, often staying home with the kids while I live vicariously through my friends and their cool insta stories. And it has faded, dimmed, that feeling that I'm missing out. I started to focus simply on what I was doing and all the loveliness in that.’

What does a doula do? Part Three

‘It is impossible for me to support a family in this intimate way without loving them. It’s not like loving your spouse, child or friend but it’s definitely love. It’s an emotional, private, personal and incredibly special time for the family and I get to be a part of it.’

Oxytocin and the dark night

‘Oxytocin is like a voyeur. Watching everyone else from a distance, checking who is paying too much attention, who is around, is it safe, are things relaxed, oh wait, maybe I need to back off...’

birth, doulaJenna RutherfordAugust 18, 2018birth, doula, oxytocin, doulalife, positivebirth

What does a doula do? Part two

‘Giving someone time says, 'I care about you'. I care what you have to say, what you're feeling, what you're going through and I care about all the little details of your life that you only really hear about when you spend time together and the generic conversation openers have all run out.’

Self Belief is Your Super Power

‘Imagine what it would feel like to totally and utterly believe in yourself? Imagine how you would behave in the world? Confident, beautiful, strong, powerful, decisive, life grabbing, fearless.’

What does a doula do? Part one

‘Have you ever been listened to? Really listened to? I don't mean going out with with your girls on Friday night, downing prosecco and putting the world to rights. I mean, one on one, no interruptions, no judgement, just being heard? No one trying to tell their story, waiting for you to finish, no comparisons, just someone who is completely engaged with what you're saying, cares about what you're saying and quietly listens to you?’

birth, doulaJenna RutherfordJuly 23, 2018The Minimalist Douladoula, birth, pregnancy, antenatal, active listeningComment

Evidence isn't everything

'Pregnancy hormones soften the brain and body and allow right-brain activity to dominate. If a woman is nurtured during her pregnancy and allowed to surrender to this state, her whole body will act better during labour. Although medicine can help some women, it also hinders this particular opportunity; because of it's risk-reductive approach to childbirth it keeps women in a left-brain state of mind.'

Are we trying too hard at giving birth?

‘There has been a noticeable shift in birth preparation. Women seem to think that they have to do something to give birth. Get informed, get aligned, breathe in a certain way, like they're taking a test they need to pass. Everyone seems to have forgotten that birth is a natural process, an absolute right of passage, as natural for the body as going to the loo, it is a bodily urge to release your baby and bring them into the world. You don't have to do anything.’

A positive birth does not mean an easy birth...

‘I can't beat myself up forever but I can make sure I never feel like that again and so that's what I did. I became a doula and had an amazingly healing second birth. I'm not saying everyone should run out and train as a doula, although the experience has been life changing for me, but I would say, forgive yourself, go gently and get the right support for next time.’

odulamore@gmail.com