Dear me...I forgive you

Mother’s day is such an emotive time and it’s hard not to think of the moment I became a mother…

To myself, my first time Mum self.

I forgive you.

I forgive you for not knowing enough first time around and for not booking into that hypnobirthing course because you thought money was too tight.  

I forgive you for not speaking up when you needed to and letting others think they knew better than you knew yourself. 

I forgive you for taking the epidural after nine hours on the drip and for letting go of your birth wishes. 

I forgive you for being so scared through the night, when Scrappy got into distress, that you couldn’t sleep, you couldn’t rest. 

I forgive you for not being able to push him out by yourself, even though you tried so hard. 

I forgive you for finding it hard to truly let go and not worry about the others in the room. 

I forgive you for not being able to hold Scrappy straight away because you were so overwhelmed. 

I forgive you for not knowing all the things you didn’t know in those early weeks, months and years as a mother. 

I forgive you for everything you’ve ever done as a mother that you feel guilty for.

I forgive you, because there’s nothing to forgive.

You are an amazing Mum, you need to know that, you need to hear it and you need to feel it. 

All you do comes from love, like all mothers.  A huge, deep well of love.  Every single day, you are trying your best, you try so hard and you are rocking it, I promise.

I love you

Me

xxx

@theminimalistdoula