You time

Now this is something that I am REALLY passionate about. First time round with my son, I did nothing to look after myself and it really took it’s toll on me. It’s a full on time, filled with looking after your little one and sometimes that is all you can manage. BUT it is SO important to look after yourself too. I know people say this all the time but I really didn’t get this, until I did. And maybe it’s something you have to feel into before you really get it too but what it ultimately comes down to is self love. You will look after yourself as little or as much as you love yourself. This in itself might be a total alien concept and might feel impossible but this is one of the MASSIVE pros of motherhood, it demands you love yourself because you won’t survive if you don’t.

The age old saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup, well it’s true and I learnt this the hard way. You are going to be physically more drained from the lack of sleep, and carrying your bubs around all the time, and just the constant demands of raising a baby along with the emotional impact of hormones and overwhelm. You need more care than ever not less. Naturally mothers end up taking care of their baby first and they can forget themselves altogether, they just don’t feel like a priority anymore. I get that, that was me. But what happens then, if you’re never topping up your cup, it becomes empty or worse maybe it gets a hole in it and you get sick, you get angry, you get anxious, you get depressed…YOU HAVE TO PUT YOURSELF ON THE LIST.

Self care maybe used to be a weekend at a spa with the girls, well with a new baby, a ten minute bath with a candle and a cup of tea might just do the trick. Self care will look different but it will also feel SO good, a little goes a long way. So in this section I’m giving you lots of quick and simple ideas which you can fit into the day or even with your baby, to top up your cup. Having a daily self care ritual in the postnatal period could make all the difference to your emotional well being.

Meditation

Meditation is a beautiful and simple way to bring calm to your day. There is nothing more to it, than sitting or lying quietly and letting your thoughts pass you by. At first your thoughts might feel relentless or even scary if you’re not used to this but after a little while, they’ll get quieter and you may feel you can let them pass without attachment to them, just let them be. The affect of actively being quiet and consciously breathing deeply, allows your body and mind to slow down and take a much needed break. Meditation is an amazing tool for anxiety because it lowers adrenaline levels in the body which raise those anxious feelings.

I have recorded these short meditations for you to enjoy whenever you need a moment of calm, just close your eyes and listen…

mama meditation to lift your mood (7 mins 43 secs)
mama meditation for grounding if you’re feeling anxious or wobbly (5 mins 45 secs)
mama meditation for when you’re feeding (7 mins 44 secs)

Yoga

Yoga is a beautiful way to move your body and calm your mind. Yoga helps you switch off by focusing on the body and the breath, a gentle moving meditation to reenergise you. When you’re exhausted, stretching and deep breathing can really oxygenate the body and restore some vitality. It also restores your trust in your own intuition so needed as a new Mum. When we connect with our breath and our body we are fully present, allowing us to hear our own inner guide.

These videos are gentle on the post birth body but please note that yoga is not recommended until at least your 6-8 week GP check. Please consult your doctor or midwife before practicing any form of exercise and be mindful of your body at all times. If you are pregnant and want to use these, they are gentle but not intended for a pregnant body and the lying down on your back session is to be avoided.

mama yoga - five minutes for you (6 mins 13 secs)
mama yoga - upper body stretch (13 mins 34 secs)
mama yoga - for when you’ve got nothing left to give (12 mins 7 secs)

Phone a friend

How good does it feel when you get off the phone with a good friend? It brings that buzzy oxytocin feeling and your mood has been lifted. When we’re having off days or down days we don’t feel like speaking to people but it can really turn your day around. So maybe think about who you could call when you’re feeling low? Maybe have a chat with them before your baby comes and ask them to be a lifeline.

Reading a non baby book

I can remember with a new baby I was not doing much reading but the one place I could sometimes find a couple of minutes was on the loo, maybe TMI? And I have found over the years, I can achieve quite a lot of reading this way…it may be in shorter bursts but for me, it was better than nothing. And it can be great to immerse yourself in baby and parenting books but I also highly recommend having a fiction book on the go, just for pure escapism.

Take the nap «netflixandchill

Something I have always done, pretty much and always suggested to other Mums is TAKE THE NAP. By this I mean, if your baby is sleeping, SIT DOWN. It’s so easy to feel the pressure to do chores, admin, whatever it is BUT you can’t get these moments of peace back. This is SO important and completely saved me because it gave me a bit of precious me time in the middle of the day. I truly believe you will always get round to the jobs that matter at some point even with your baby awake but you can’t get that quiet time back. So TAKE it. Take it, enjoy it, watch a show you’ve been dying to see, eat your fave snacks, whatever fills your cup, do this for you. Without guilt because YOU MATTER.

Gratitude practice & journalling

Something that has made a huge difference to me in my motherhood journey has been having a gratitude practice. Taking some time each day to think about what went well is a kind and loving way to end the day because there will be lots of good in each day but it’s far easier to focus on what didn’t go so well. And with gratitude, fear can’t exist, so it’s very soothing on an anxious day to focus on all the positives rather than sit in the negatives. You can write them down or simply thinking about all the goodness in the day, can turn it around.

Journalling is another lovely way to download. Writing down your feelings can help them properly surface so you can let them go. You can have a special book or just use some loose paper, you don’t have to keep what you write, it’s in the act of writing that is soothing. You can set a timer and just see what comes up. The idea is to free flow, don’t focus on what you’re writing, just let the pen go. If this feels too hard, you could ask a question to get you going, like ‘how am I feeling today?’ Journalling has been proven to reduce stress, strengthen your immune system and boost your mood so it’s worth a try.

Self care quickies

Taking your baby out for a short walk around the block. If you use the sling, it’s even easier to get out of the house. The fresh air will help create a new feeling, even better if you can take a few minutes alone.

Taking a warm bath, with or without your baby, soaking your body, relaxing those tense muscles, softening the mind and body…the warm water will improve blood circulation and lower blood pressure, it will bring comfort and quiet and it can even diminish feelings of depression. A bath is simple healing.

Self care has to mention a good old cup of tea. Again warming up the insides brings instant comfort and the ceremony of sitting down to enjoy it, brings a pause in your day. Whether it’s drank alone or in company and even better if you didn’t have to make it. If you don’t like tea, any warm drink of your choice will work.

Since I was a teen, My Mum has always had Angel cards around the house and I could pick one anytime for a little bit of inspiration that day. Now you may be familiar with these as affirmation cards or any positive wording that lifts you. Our thoughts truly do become our experience, so on hard days reading something loving and uplifting, can help boost our mood. Maybe it’s a card from a friend or a quote you love. You could draw a card if you have a set, write one or maybe you have a space where you stick positive messages (if you don’t I highly recommend it) that you could go and look at but choose to love yourself.

Something I used to love doing was wash my hands. I felt when I washed my hands, I was cleaning my energy and starting again. You can wash your hands many times as a new Mum, so think of each one like a do over. You could even have a delicious soap to make it even more special. Don’t berate yourself for what’s happened so far, start afresh each time.

Something I have found more and more useful over the years is simply lying on the floor. Lying down creates a pause and when we pause, we give our minds and bodies a moment. A moment to ground, a moment to come back to centre, a moment to breathe. Lying down on a firm floor also let’s your spine straighten, your shoulders relax and open, and you feel the ground beneath you. You’re not alone, you are supported, breathe mama.

Holistic treatments

If you find yourself with a bit more time, how can you treat yourself?

I have acupuncture regularly, but maybe reflexology or massage is your thing? An afternoon swim…

There are some beautiful rituals for postnatal Mums such as a Closing The Bones Massage, a loving tradition in many cultures as well as belly binding to support your post birth body’s healing.

Do you know any local practitioners who would welcome you and your baby, maybe you could go together or they could come to you?

Self care…

Where can I make time for myself in the day?
What will I do in those little me breaks?
What do I enjoy?
Who can help so I can do something for me?

So you’re thinking about how you can look after yourself but what about the other relationships in your lives, how might things change?

relationships

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Disclaimer: This is a guide to support you through your mothering journey. I am not a professional expert or medically trained and my words are simply my opinion built on my experience as a mother and as a doula. Please always be guided by your own feelings and seek further professional support where needed. In using this guide you are agreeing to accept full responsibility for yourself and your baby in response to anything you do in response to this guide. Please make sure you have checked with a medical professional before practicing yoga postnatally and be mindful of your body at all times. Thank you.