It's not all about you.
As a doula I am a passionate advocate for women. I love women. Women are awesome. I have seen women be so strong and brave and courageous and I am in constant awe of how women cope. They cope with crazy busy schedules, excessive demands, the overwhelming to do list that accompanies their lives and even though a single day is a constant feat of accomplishments, they worry. They worry about everything from what to eat to what to say, they don't seem to trust themselves, their innate belief is adrift, the place deep within them that says everything is ok is missing.
Never more do I see this than with new and expectant mothers. Birth and motherhood to a first time Mum is so unknown, there are so many questions that their heads are swimming in a sea of unanswered threads. As any woman knows, we like to have a sense of control and impending motherhood is a real exercise in letting go which many women can find hard.
If you can let go, if you can dig deep and believe everything is going to be ok, it can make the third and fourth trimesters so much more enjoyable. It's not all about you anymore. You are creating an entirely new person who depends on you. You can't afford to get caught up in all the usual high expectations you have placed on yourself. No, you won't be able to have everything together all the time and always finish that to do list. You won't be able to be the perfect wife, daughter, sister or friend.
But it's ok. It's ok to be late, to wear yesterday's clothes, to leave your boob hanging out while you answer the door to the postman (it happens to us all). It's ok to forget to send a Birthday card to your best mate or take an unwrapped present to a party. It's ok because you're doing your best. You're always doing your best. It may just look a bit different now. You are still a beautiful, intelligent, strong, capable woman who now has a little person who needs you. And anyone who truly knows you and loves you will be ok with the changes because they will understand that it's not all about you.
Doula love x