Oh my, settling our babies into nursery or daycare or just a new setting can be so daunting for everyone involved.  We’re learning to let go of them a little bit more as much as they’re having to learn to let go of us.

I absolutely wish I had been more forthright with my first born’s experience of settling in.  On paper the nursery seemed to have a really supportive and slow settling in process which I knew would suit my son so well but in reality they rushed us both and it didn’t feel very gentle…

When Spud started pre school I knew I was going to listen to that Mama gut of mine (why do we ever doubt it?!) and I had an idea...

The thing Spud struggled with the most was transitions, any change really and the suddenness of it.  So I decided this time, he could chose. I decided it would be up to him when to get down out of my arms, to give him a little bit of control in the situation, he could choose when I left.

I knew he’d want to be in my arms and I knew we’d both find it hard.  So I just held him.  I didn’t rush him at all.  I said I would only leave when he was ready.  If he wanted to play, he would need to get down but I would be here with him until he was ready. Yes you need to clear your diary a bit more for the first couple of weeks...but you know what, after not very long, he chose to get down.  His beautiful little lip quivered as I left but he chose it and I could tell he was more comfortable with it because of that and we were both going to be ok.  And we were.  And I continued to let him choose for maybe longer than the pre school would have liked but I stuck it out and just simply smiled and kept holding my boy.  The carries got shorter and shorter as his confidence grew and grew and he absolutely loved pre school.

So, follow your heart Mama. It’s ok to take things slowly, quick isn’t always best and depending on your child, listen to yourself. Only you know what works for them. Go gently Mamas.

Doula love

Jenna

Xx

@theminimalistdoula